Lazy Hazy Crazy Days Of Summer

It was the summer solstice and, coincidentally, the first actual day of summer here in these heat blessed lands. I had been having all sorts of weird dreams and awoke with a start. I gave up, I did, didn’t I? I’m sure I did. Then why does this place still smell of smoke.

My newly awakened brain could not cope. I struggled to come to whatever senses I still had left in my severely advanced years. I gave the last fifteen years a quick run through. Yep, I did give up. I remember all the cursing and swearing and the delusion of addiction, and distinctly remember the craving and the ‘Ok just one last one, then I will quit completely”. I also remember that I quit completely so many times that I had to quit quitting completely to enable myself to quit smoking. In my awakening state I swore that I gave up smoking and have not had a cigarette in all that time. Then why did everything smell of smoke?

‘Oh, my godlet we are on fire’. I dashed the duvet off, dived out of bed and ran through our minuscule flatlet, rebounding off the piano in the hall - because the hall is small and the piano is not. The tiny kitchen was not awash with flames, nor were the storeroom, the office/studio or the second toilet. I slid into the bedroom across not so cool tiles, again, and burst into the cupboard we laughingly call an ensuite bathroom (minus the bath of course). No fire, just a cockroach which, incidentally, also was not on fire.

I distinctly remembered that old idiom - where there’s smoke there’s fire, but I couldn’t find the fire, but the smoke was everywhere. A dingy grey haze hung over Malaysia’s Kuala Lumpur. Everywhere was ‘misty’, half hidden and reeked of burning, including our tiny apartment. Online news informed that the ‘haze’ as it is officially known - not ‘that reeking bloody stink’ as some would have it, came to us courtesy of Indonesia. Thank you so much Indonesia, you may have your haze back now, we have done with it, I silently groaned. Silently, because I was alone indoors and really didn’t want to open my mouth unnecessarily, and gulp in countless atoms of scorched peat.

The smog, for that is what is really is, reminded me of those winter school days in the UK, when we would all be sent home early because of rolling, smothering smog. We prayed, or rather the more religious children prayed, the rest of us just hoped that their prayers would be answered and we wouldn’t have to commit to any religious dictatorship, that smog would come. It wasn’t that we hated school, but that we were children and preferred anything apart from school - even smog! With the later affluence of central heating the smogs died away and I escaped the motherland to bask in the equatorial sun of Kuala Lumpur. Only today there was no sun, just smog.

So that was it. My morning burning smell came with thanks to a smog caused by bloody peat forests in Sumatra. Sumatra, no less! Singapore was suffering its worse pollution levels - ever, and asthma sufferers in Malaysia have become homebound, even though without double-glazing it was rather pointless to sit indoors as the stench was insidious, and crept through doorways and window frames etc. And there was not a bloody thing I could do about it except for to blog - hence this diatribe.