A cave somewhere

Every other Tuesday, I now attend a ‘men’s group’ at my local Buddhist centre. It’s all part of learning a little more about the ‘Dharma’.

Two weeks ago the group was temporarily moved online, to Zoom. I have never liked the impersonal aspect of Zoom, and have found the technical side very challenging, so I didn’t attend. Well, that is two reasons, another is that my one room is often noisy during the evening (the tenant downstairs likes his music/TV louder than I would like…I have a feeling that he is harder of hearing, if not now he soon will be). That noise, and the fact that even a small felis domesticus could not be rendered airborne by its spine extension prevents me from using Zoom. It’s also the reason that the videos I make there (for China mostly) are short, very short.

Last evening (7pm - 9pm) we were back at the centre.

I am not usually one for all male meetings. The larger the grouping of males is, the less I am inclined to participate (too much testosterone in the atmosphere). I much prefer mixed company, however it seems that Buddhism, like Islam, prefers to keep its sexes apart, so I really have little choice if I am to learn more about Buddha, Dharma and Sangha (the 3 jewels). Nor am I much of a one for wandering abroad in the evening. Morning is my time. Evenings I prefer indoors, at the place where I (temporarily at least) lay my head (when not being subjected to a noisy noise which would be enough to annoy an oyster more). 

The regular guide/teacher wasn’t able to be there this time. I say regular but last evening was only the third time that we had all met up, and one of those times was the online one I didn’t attend. Neither were three other members (and I use this term a mite cautiously) in attendance. 

It was amazing how the whole group dynamics changed due to the substitution and the absences. The proxy ‘leader’ knew the three others, but not me. I found myself in a group of one. All the others are part of another group which meets on Wednesdays and, apparently, interact outside of both groups. They are younger too, but these days most people are younger than me. This has really made me feel like an outsider and has me considering why I am, actually, attending. Finally, it seems that the others have been on ‘retreats’ together, which is something I am yet to experience or commit to. 

 

A Buddhist retreat is (and I quote) “...important for many Buddhists as they provide a chance to spend periods of time with other Buddhists away from everyday life. Retreats involve various aspects of Buddhism, such as meditation and studying the Buddha's teachings.” Said retreats are also very seriously vegetarian (or vegan) in actuality. 

I shouldn’t make comparisons, however, this every-other-Tuesday group is vastly different from the Chinese Buddhist monthly (mixed sex) group which I had attended in Malaysia. The purpose of both was/is lay people meeting to learn more about Buddhism and how to lead a Buddhist everyday lifestyle. The Malaysian group was much more informal, and frequently involved (non-vegetarian) eats, well it would wouldn’t it. This British all masculine group is a tad more serious, earnest I could say, and maybe that’s because it really is a course (the Triratna Dharma Training Course for Mitras) thinly disguised as a group. Is this the right way/path for me? Perhaps it is too early to tell. 

I hear a remote cave calling.