Yesterday

Yesterday I was at a very low ebb remembering that it would have been my tenth wedding anniversary. I experienced the full weight of dukkha, or suffering, and it was all my own doing.

The day was spent in a comforting anguish. It was a teary pain which recalled my loss, over and over again. I decided to let it flow in me and eventually beyond me, to be rid of that crippling, destructive, sadness with the hope of building upon it.

Kharma is cosmic action. Kharma is like a pond's ripples or the effect of dominoes falling, each knocking the other. A chain of events had been put into action, part of that chain eventuated in my experiencing the loss of the person who had been my partner for a little over eight years. I acknowledge my part in this. I further acknowledge that it cannot be changed. There is no going back.

To move forward, my mind set has to change. It will be slow. I have come far mentally, as well as physically, since our relationship finished. I can go further. I can only change myself. Phase one has been to re-engage with daily mindfulness meditation. Phase two was to exercise via walking and Phase three will include Tai Chi and maybe Qi Gong later.

I have far to go, but the path is there and all I have to do is to tread it