Taking Teochew to Task

The rain had held off. We were at the Chao Yue Xuan restaurant, River Valley Road, Singapore. Our most generous hosts proffered the 4pax set menu B, and who were we to complain. Chinese tea flowed like China’s Yangtze (Changjiang) oh so long River. Helpful servers served to the extent that I was constantly dodging their helpfulness as if afflicted with some neurological disorder, and apologising.  Well, I am British. Every time my serviette drifted to the floor, a server swooped and deposited it back on my lap until, that is, about the 100th time when she gave up and, not surprisingly, plonked it down on the table a tad harshly I thought.

Talk meandered. It was about what we were doing, about what they were doing, what we had done, what they had done and where my wife's family came from in China. Oh! and that was the reason that we were there, at the Chao Yue Xuan restaurant, with my wife's aunt and uncle - it serves Teochew (Chaozhou) cuisine.  Teochew (Chinese) dialect speaking clientele get all excited about their regional food. Native tongue food, food from home and, others like me ready for practically anything, get all excited too.

A few Malaysia decades earlier, my wife’s family had migrated from the eastern region of Guangdong province in China, and settled in the northern region of, what was then, Malaya. Over time the specifics were lost but the dialect and the longing for their cuisine remained. Seemingly Teochew cuisine has similarities with both that of Fujian (Hokkien) and with cuisines from Canton, while also managing to tuck some uniqueness up its embroidered, silken jacketed sleeve. We had tried Teochew food before, in Malaysia, and I really cannot say that I was over impressed. I smiled a weak smile, and expected the worse.

The first dish came. It was cold crab. We British are used to having cold crab. Crab salads are a speciality of my favourite British coastline - that of north Norfolk. Cromer, and its surrounds, produces some of the very best crab and crab salads in England (personal opinion). No, it wasn’t crab salad, but just crab, and not just cold but chilled in its shell. My heart sank. It was a WTF moment. Wearily I plunged into the crab, tearing it and snipping at it like some dog baiting a bear. I was informed that I

Scallop

really should dip that hard won crab into the vinegar sauce provided. Vinegar brought more memories of dear old Blighty - seasides, cockles, winkles and mussels all dowsed with tart vinegar, but I was in Singapore and they were asking me to act as if I had a ‘kiss-me-quick’ hat balanced on my noggin and a stick of rock in my hand.

Wearily and warily I dunked the crab in that vinegar. I looked around. Three sets of eyes were set on me. Will I pass the test, or will I flunk, forever to hang my head in shame in Teochew circles for all eternity. I dunked and raised a silent prayer - ‘oh please don’t this be as awful as it seems. Oh please don’t let that awfulness show on my face’. I raised said crab to my taut lips, shoved it past my teeth and into my anxious mouth. Hello, says I to myself. That’s not half bad. No really, really, quite nice. Good grief, I inwardly exclaimed - I like this. The crab, despite the shell difficulties and my inherent laziness, disappeared and I was left looking for more. And that was only the start.

Shark's Fin Soup

I had not realised that the next dish was on the menu. I hadn’t had it before, as soups are not really my thing, but there it was, scooped into my dish, the infamous and terribly over-rated Shark’s Fin Soup.The Chao Yue Xuan restaurant version was named Braised Four treasure Shark’s Fin Soup. I’ll refrain from anymore comment except to say, for me - they need not have bothered. It was something glutinous for the gluttonous and had barely any taste for me, even with copious amounts of soy sauce. 

Abalone

 Stewed Fresh Yoshihama Abalone with Japanese Mushroom made me forget my aberration with fin of a shark and eased us into the Pan Fried Scallop, which was minimal and tasty, or was tasty because it was minimal, I’m not quite too sure. The chef, or chef’s minions, knew their stuff and the scallop was fried to perfection, but it was all over far too fast.

Soon Hock

The Deep Fried Soon Hock Fish, aka Mabled Glory or Ghost Fish, arrived to an internal applause. Four pairs of eyes lit up - mine too because I had had this fish recently in Malaysia and simply loved its crispiness and freshness. I was fortunate as my fellow diners steered clear of the fish head and tail. I didn’t. I crunched and munched and enjoyed my hosts’ inquisitiveness. This Gwai Lo knows how to eat fish head and tail eh! Good grief! Or some such exclamation in Chinese. 

The Pan Fried Noodle with Baked Prawn with Superior Sauce was a great name, but in reality a let down. I muttered that if I wanted dry noodles I could have opened a packet of Maggie Mee myself. The

Pan fried Noodle

prawns needed a superior sauce, but didn’t get one. It was all up to the dessert to save the day. Mango Pudding didn’t. It felt like an after-thought. It certainly did not feel very Chinese, or a very inventive fusion food. Orh Nee (taro paste with ginko nuts and coconut milk) would have been more authentic and have saved the day. It was a sad ending, even sadder as our host and hostess had to leave for an evening flight to other parts even more exotic than Singapore.

Mango Pudding

It was an interesting sampling of the restaurant's dishes. It was an introduction, but I prefer my plate a little fuller than that which nouvelle cuisine offers. Next time we are in Singapore I think that we might seek out a less salubrious, but equally Teochew, restaurant and dine a little heartier and a little less expensively than we did at the Chao Yue Xuan restaurant, River Valley Road, Singapore.