Tuesday, April 6, 2021

June 10th (2020)

 

June 10th

87 days here

I am awake at 4am

I am still awake st 5.46am

I must have fallen asleep as I re-awaken at 8.05am.

As I try to get out of bed I feel dizzy. The room spins. I fall back on the bed. Although the ferocity of the feeling lessens, three hours later it, whatever it is, is still there now accompanied by palpitations.

I had wanted to go out for a walk, but am having problems getting off the bed. I force myself to shower. Holding on to the wall, as I move down the corridor to the shower room probably looks pathetic, luckily no one sees me. I manage to get into the room, shave and, looking in the mirror I see my pupils are in a state of myosis (pinpoint pupils), they are really, really small. It’s a bit frightening. The smallness of my pupils, the dizziness and the palpitations do worry me, I’m not used to this. Okay, it’s a human body, things happen. But this has never happened in my adult life. In my youth I might have paid to experience something like this, and be happy to do so. But no longer. Being young is one thing but it happening unexpectedly at this time of life, is quite something else. Luckily, but slowly, this unusual state of my being eases off enough for me to be able to cope with it.

I have a suspicion that too many chemicals (and salt) in both the pot noodles and the processed cheese had brought this on. I need to think this through. I never eat such things at home, and for this very reason. I have checked the internet and many authorities agree that these processed foods can lead to High Blood Pressure and Strokes. I don't need to check my blood pressure because I can feel it. Now I need to find an alternative way of feeding myself. I can’t let this happen again, it may get serious and I still have stories to write.

Breakfast is two banana sandwiches and a mug of Lipton's Yellow tea (Yellow, for future reference). Maybe this helps. I don’t know.

I am still determined to go out, only now the morning has passed. I walk around Siem Reap in the hot midday sun, trying to find a multi-purpose kettle so that I can cook for myself and not eat the noodles and plastic cheese again. I look for a multi-purpose 'kettle' in the ‘Markets’ and in a couple of electrical stores, and find only one, and that is four times more expensive than something similar in Malaysia. I will have to wait for Phany to help.

I am tired and hot, and someone is occupying my usual seat in Common Grounds. I walk on and, feeling very hungry, have a toasted cheese, bacon and ham sandwich at Ellen's Cafe, next door to Colors of Cambodia. It's empty when I get there, but is filling up with expats as I leave. A small male child enquires why I have a gray beard. I inquire why he does not. He persists, then changes tack. He tells me, in front of his pony-tailed father, that his father has a beard, which I see, and he further explains that his father’s beard is not gray. The father turns as if to prove his son’s point. I tell them both that I am old, that is why my beard is gray. I doff my hat to them both, smile and walk into Colors of Cambodia.

It’s 4.38pm and I still feel strange. Not quite right, well there are those who might say that I was never quite right.

I tinker with The Blue Lotus, a little. I have 180 pages laid out, now I have to do the fiddly bits, the naming of images, short blocks of text about the artists, the ‘contents pages’, all the bits I’d rather not do, but have no choice. Still, The Blue lotus is a labour of love (or so I am told). I am sure that the layouts will change yet again, just as the cover has changed three times already.

Dinner is a rather delicious pork and vegetable Khmer soup, courtesy of dear Phany. It is so very kind of her.

Today's spend
Ellen Cafe.....$3.75

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