Facebook (2013)

We are bombarded with missives about Social Networking. We come to believe that we might just turn out to be a hermit living in a far off cave, with nothing for sustenance but the odd bat stew or moss clawed from our dank environment. We are pressed and pressured into thinking that we must belong, must become part of this huge online network of fellow beings, all desperate to see our latest meal/partner/baby and so, like many others, I succumbed. I posted long and I posted hard. Photos, scraps of wisdom, interesting documents found in the net’s netherlands. I posted and read others who were posting until it all came crashing down in a heap of unfathomable Facebook bureaucracy.

And so......after many years of having far too many Facebook friends than I honestly knew what to do with, I trimmed. I trimmed because of a malevolent attack on my Facebook account. I trimmed and I used the opportunity to switch accounts and revamp my social network. I cut drastically, realising that the vast majority of those so-called friends who had been lurking on the periphery of my account, had little or no contact with me whatsoever.

It was a tough decision born out of frustration with the vagaries of Facebook, its ridiculously antisocial social networking, and the punitive measures Facebook now uses to prevent the very thing it proclaims to promote - friendships. I axed over 900 friends and started again, with 7 very close friends, ones I knew would continue dialogues, for I haven't given up on the idea of social networking, just yet.

Now Facebook parades potential friends before me like a whorehouse madam, teasing and cajoling me to approach them for friendship.  If I do, and they proclaim to not know me outside of Facebook, I am penalised by being blocked from attempting to add real friends for two weeks. Two weeks being a virtual lifetime for Facebook aficionados.

Two weeks is a life sentence, but is also a wake up call. The stern judgement handed down by Facebook,  with no charge being proffered nor appeal given, made me realise that Facebook is approaching its sell-by-date and only hangs on until there is a viable alternative. I am still on Facebook, but only just. Just enough to be in contact with those who really count, while waiting for Facebook to implode in a ghastly mess of rules, regulations and Kafka like absurdities.