Essex Boys, a slight return

  Watcha Yer watcha mate Ow’s it goin’ Ow’s wot goin’ You know - the usual The usual wot – suspects Ow are you Mustn’t grumble, but I do So whatcha bin doin Went to see Talentine Wot Talentime, the film You mean Fil-em Wotever By that Jasmin Armani innit Yasmin Ahmad She’s a mate of that Amin Mahmud int she Amir Muhammad Yer him, made a film about bananas No that was Woody Allen Well somefing like that Durians Yeh, good was it Yeh great Wots it about About, it’s a about a talent show Wot, like American Idle Idol, yeah somefing like that, but at a local level Local level, wot first storey No she’s made other films You used to sing a bit didn’t ya Yer a bit, me and my band Band, wot band, elastic No me musical band Where’d you keep that then, in your pants No, they were backing me Oh right, on your backside like, hope they weren’t tight They were real tight, really together, in the groove Must have been uncomfortable then No, they were really good, and we had some good amps too Amps Yer, amps – amplifiers, speakers like Hope they weren’t from Perak Wot do yer mean Well the speakers from Perak tend to collapse, and have to be carried out Something about a mentor who’s bizarre wasn’t it That’s right, something bizarre anyway, arresting folks wearing black, when they were eating Were they under a tree In a hall I think Why d’you ask D’know, seems like it don’t count if it’s under a tree What’s that got to do with the price of fish Who knows I didn’t know that wearing black was against the law Well it is now Now that is bizarre, what about red Wot about it Is that against the law, it’s a provocative colour Only to bulls I believe I’m curious about yellow too Would you get off the colours Then Perak’s a funny place Yer that Partick Thistle comes from there Partick Thistle You know that radio guy who writes for Behind the Fridge You mean Patrick Teoh and Off the Edge - anyway we did a few gigs, you know, venues Right, good, where Bangsar Ah The Actor’s Studio place Ok And No Black Tie Know black tie, no I don’t Don’t what Know the black tie, never had one One wot Black tie Oh nevermind Pity its gone What BANGSAR, gone No, the Actor’s Studio I thought for a moment that a whole section of Kuala Lumpur had disappeared Only the cultural side - so apart from watching films and reminiscing about past glories, what have you been doing. Not a lot, went to central market and had a shock Shock Yer shock, there’s no market Of course there’s no market, it’s a tourist trap. Here we have all sorts of traps, fish traps, speed traps and tourist traps. What do they do with them Well, the small ones they throw back And the not small ones They skin tax them Skin tax Yer, they are made to pay over the odds on everything they buy, even taxis they take Good grief You didn’t notice Thought it was getting a bit expensive, but I thought that was down to the recession Depression you mean No, they said over the TV there is no depression here And you believed it Well it was on TV, and in the papers, and we know they don’t lie Yer right No, no straight up, it was Anyway, must fly, the missus is cooking rendang Chicken There’s no need to be like that